Marriage Bill: Property Rights of Wife After Divorce

In August 2012, a bill called ‘The Marriage Laws (Amendment) Act’ was passed in the Rajya Sabha, in which some changes regarding property-sharing in divorce cases were made. Divorce lawyers are expected to make a handful, if this Act gets implemented.

The main change in this bill, which has worried many men, is the clause that “the wife’s share in property would be 50% in all her husband’s residential properties, no matter what, and in other properties, her share will be decided as per the court’s decision”.

Wife’s 50 Percent Share In Husband’s Property

In the past, the wife was entitled to a share in her ex-husband’s property, but no specific proportion was detailed, according to law. With the present amendment to The Marriage Amendment Laws Act, the ex-wife will enjoy half of her divorced husband’s residential properties, without any conditions. Women will have to apply for their 50 percent share, either through themselves or through a divorce lawyer.

Another significant point to note is that this rule applies to all properties owned by the husband (those bought both before and after the marriage). In the past, the wife’s divorce lawyer could only claim a share of the properties bought by her husband after she was married to him. If the man does not have a good divorce lawyer, he will stand to lose a lot from such a divorce. Hence, it’s better to work things out and not get a divorce, if possible.

When A Wife Is Joint Owner in Her Husband’s Residential Property

Sometimes couples register a house in both their names. While some pay for the house with their respective salaries, in some cases the husband may for the house by himself. Now, what would happen in case of a divorce? Well, the woman would get her normal 50 percent share, plus 50 percent of her husband’s 50 percent share in the residential property. Meaning, the wife would get 75 percent, while the husband would have to remain satisfied with a mere 25 percent.

Wife’s Rights on Other Properties of Husband in India

Other than the compulsory share of 50 percent in her ex-husband’s residential properties, the woman’s divorce lawyer can also claim a share in the man’s other types of properties. This quantum is not specified in the bill, and depends on the ‘current living standard of the wife’.

Is This Law Against Men?

Many pro-male groups and lobbies have criticised The Marriage Laws (Amendment) Bill as being anti-male and illogical. Some of this points that have been brought up are:

• The bill only mentions division of the husband’s properties, and does not include the wife’s properties. Even if it is the woman’s fault, she will still get her husband’s hard earned land/house etc, but his divorce lawyer will not be able to claim anything from her. 
• If husband and wife are living separately for many years, the wife can oppose divorce due to ‘irretrievable breakdown of marriage’ on the grounds of financial hardship, but the husband’s divorce lawyers cannot. 
• The law is expected to encourage more women to file for divorce, and grab their husband’s property. This will spoil the family system, and encourage the proliferation of divorce lawyers, who will make big bucks. 
• Men who are thinking of divorce may convert their residential properties into immovable assets or transfer their house to parents/relatives names, to prevent their wife’s lawyers from claiming 50 percent in their property.

What do you think of the divorce-related property division clauses in the Marriage Laws (Amendment) Act 2010? Please post your comments below.

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Reasons Couples Fight and Solutions

Recently, I have seen many of my friends break up for really simple stupid reasons. These situations could easily have been solved by a little conversation and understanding. I am writing this post with the hope that any couple facing such relationship problems may read it and work to save their relationship. Here are some of the reasons couples fight, how to solve them and mend your relationship.

1. Different Expectations
Each partner may have different expectations from the other partner in a relationship. Various expectations are one of the reasons couples fight. Making your expectations clear and detailed to your partner helps create a positive and constructive relationship. The expectations should be balanced and both partners should know what is expected of them and what they should expect in return. A conversation should take place, don't expect your partner to know what you are thinking.


2. Personality Differences
People usually assume that their partner is the same as them and think exactly the same. We sometimes fail to realize that the other person may be thinking completely differently from us and we fail to understand their behavior. One of the most common personality differences is extroversion - introversion. Personality differences are one of the main reasons couples fight.

Opposites attract but this basic difference also creates frequent misunderstandings between couples as communication styles and lifestyle preferences are quite different. As being an introvert/extrovert is part of your natural character, it is very difficult to change. Understanding, accepting and valuing each others differences can make any relationship much stronger and balanced.

3. Attachment Style
A secure attachment in childhood leads to healthy emotional and psychological behavior in adults. Our connections with other people helps build our self esteem and emotional security. People with a secure childhood and stable parents are able to enjoy stable and secure relationships as adults. An insecure childhood, missing parents or harsh parents contribute to the reasons couples fight.

A persons attachment style depends on their experiences as a child, their family attachment patterns, personality and preferences. There are four main types of attachment - secure, anxious, avoidant and mixed feelings. If at least one of the partners is secure, the relationship has the chance to be more stable and have greater security. Understanding and tolerance are the keywords.

4. Transference
This is what happens when we think/relate to a person in the present based on what someone else did/said to us in the past. This means that sometimes you don't hear what a person says, but what you think they have said, which is subtly different - and based on what someone else had said/done to you in the past.

Expectations built on the past are a cause of general negativity. You were let down in the past, therefore you believe that the future would be lonely too...and you can't believe anyone who says that they will always be there for you.

It is very difficult to forget the past and see things in a fresh new light. We all have a history of experiences and relationships that helped form our personalities. Sometimes, the past gets in the way of enjoying the present. This is a habit that is quite difficult to change and one of the reasons couples fight. This problem can be solved by talking about it with close friends who know about your past or explaining the situation to your partner.

Well, this is a list of some of the main reasons couples fight. Do you know of any other reasons why couples fight? What are the main issues for which you fight with your partner??

Stages Of A Relationship

I recently read a book, 'The 1000 most important questions you will ever ask yourself', by Alyss Thomas. I thought the part about 'Stages of a Relationship' was quite true, so I posted a bit of it on my blog!! Happy Valentines Day !!!


Stage 1 - Falling in Love

This relationship stage involves lots of phone calls, gifts, sms, email forwards and dating. The couple cannot get enough of each other and hold hands everywhere they go. Neither makes any demands on the other person or displays behaviour that may not be accepted. Similarities are emphasized. The main purpose of this stage is to make a firm bond or attachment and build a foundation for the relationship.


Stage 2 - Learning About Differences

This stage of the relationship happens when a person realises that thier lover is quite different from them. They may also start disliking some of these differences. It can be dissappointing and depressing. If the relationship is to succeed, the couple needs to start discussing things and decide who needs to do what. Many relationships don't survive this stage, as the differences between the couple may seem too big. The main purpose of this relationship stage is for each individual to find themselves again and reestablish themselves as an independent person.


Stage 3 - Independence

During this stage of the relationship, a person starts rediscovering themselves as separate people. They engage in separate activities and develop exciting new interests and opportunities. This may be confusing because each partner is fighting for freedom but at the same time wants the other to be there when things go bad and they need them. A person needs space and may be unconciously giving off the message - I don't need you. The main purpose of this stage of a relationship is for each person to achieve more things than they could have achieved alone. The couple learns the values of trust, forgiveness and tolerance.


Stage 4 - Coming Back Together

After each person establishes thier personal identity in the world, the couple comes back together again with more appreciation and understanding for each others individual differences and needs. The couple fluctuates between periods of great intimacy and separation for independence. The partners may test out whether the other person will really be there for them in times of trouble. The main purpose of this stage of a relationship is to find out whether the other person can be trusted for a lifetime. Lots of conflicting issues relating to a person's childhood and past may develop. If these issues are successfully discussed, over time, the relationship will become more deep and stronger.


Stage 5 - Maturity and Compromise

The couple is now in a stronger relationship, knowing that they love each other and have individual lives and interests too. They are equally committed to both. The partners become realistic and let's go of thier hope for an ideal perfect person who fulfills all thier needs. A lot of patience is needed during this stage. Each person encourages thier partner to grow and openness increases. They recognize the value of the relationship and stop feeling resentment about the compromises involved. The couple is now in a solidly strong relationship and is ready to meet the future together.

Have you gone through these stages in your relationship? If you are in a relationship, which stage are you in now??

Consumer Durable Commercials and Breakdown of Families

Sample this,

1984 – A commercial for a television set shows a family comprising grandparents, aunts, uncles, parents and kids sitting in the family drawing room watching TV together.

1989 – The family watching television in the drawing room becomes smaller, featuring only the grandparents, parents and around 3 kids.

1994 – A commercial for the same product shows a nuclear family comprising parents and children watching television together. The children are of varied ages , 18 - 6 years old.

1999 – The family grows smaller. The advertisement for the same television shows a young couple with their two small kids watching television together in the drawing room.

2004 – The television commercial shows a newly married couple with no children watching television together.

2009 – Well, this is the ultimate in family breakdown. You must have seen the advertisements on TV. Today, we see a single guy, staying away from his parents, watching television alone in a small flat.


The effectiveness of good advertising lies in its capability to maintain or encourage new sales. Consumer durables usually have a life span of between 5 – 10 years depending on how much it is used and the maintenance and repair facilities available. Some consumer durable goods are household appliances, electronic equipment, home furnishings, recreational goods, toys and cars.

Because of the long life span of consumer durables, the companies that manufacture consumer durables can only hope for new sales, if,

• They develop a new improved technology and advertise it.
• The standard of living of the people increases enabling them to purchase goods like computers, refrigerators, washing machines, televisions and so on.
• The availability of loans increases making purchase of consumer durables easier.

As part of a long term brand building process, many consumer durable companies try to increase the demand for their products by bringing out commercials that show a new type of smaller family/society to encourage purchases.

Say, for example, there is a country with 1,00,000 people and no competition in the television sector. In 1984, if a family of 14 owned a TV set each, the company had the capacity to sell only around 7,143 televisions. However, in 2009, if each person lives separately, the company has the potential to sell a maximum of 1,00,000 televisions.

This process, though very gradual, works in the minds of individuals who watch television commercials and programmes every day. Things are worse in foreign countries, where single mothers, divorced couples, late marriages and living away from home are promoted both in advertisements and television programmes sponsored by these commercials.

As people are fed this information daily on every television channel, over a period of time they begin to believe that the concept of the family and society is changing. Not wanting to be left behind in the scheme of things, they indulge in the very behavior being promoted by the advertisements of consumer durable companies. People leave their parents to start nuclear families of their own. Divorces and single motherhood lead to fragmented families. Finally, people start living alone. The breakup of the family is complete.

Is single living and the breakdown of the family being promoted by manufacturers of television sets, vacuum cleaners, washing machines and other consumer durables in your country? What do you have to say about this issue?

Difficult Wife and Domestic Quarrels - Advice on Relationships

In recent years, many Indian men and women, who have traditionally had arranged marriages, have decided to pursue their dreams and marry the person they love. Like arranged marriages, love marriages also have their set of joys and problems.

Most of my friends have said that I am a pretty good advice giver on such issues, so I have decided to post my experiences and advice on this blog, so that others may also benefit. Anyone who wishes to add other advice and solutions to the discussed marital problems, may post their views in the comment section.

Difficult Wife

Mr.X married Miss.Y two years ago. After marriage, domestic fights began with her in laws and the wife could not manage with the husband's family. The wife wanted to live separately and soon after the couple shifted to a separate house in the same neighborhood. The wife does not like the husband to visit or speak to his family and continues to squabble if he does so. She also objects to the amount of money he gives his family. He says he fulfills every need of this wife and there is no 'money problem' from his side.

Mr.X admits his wife has no contact with her family since she married him. He also says that his family members, mostly his mother, have said 'bitter' words to her on some occasions. Both are well educated. The quarrels are intolerable and he needs help. What should he do?


My Solution

The main reason for such a marital situation is the fact that the wife is missing her family members and is not able to express it in the right way. Even though both the husband and wife may have initially married against their family's wishes - right now, the husband still has contact with his family while the wife has not spoken to her family for two years. This must be making the wife slightly jealous and sad that she got the worse off deal, family-wise, from the love marriage.

It may be noticed that these marital squabbles usually happen around major festivals or birthdays of the wife's family members. This is when Miss Y may reminisce about the happy times she had with her parents and siblings. She may miss them a lot and be unable to tell her husband of her feelings.

The solution to this marital problem is for the husband to somehow get her to contact her family. This can be done through email, ecards, sms, phone calls, letters and so on. The husband should either tell her to contact them or if she is too scared, he should contact them himself. Her family must be missing her too and not phoning her because they may be scared of her reaction. However, someone has to make a start and be the first person to call. If her family is rude and hangs up, don't worry.... call them again after two or three weeks...and don't give up.

In such a marital scenario, both husband and wife must forget their ego. Remember, you are much greater if you make relationships than if you break them.


Dealing with Money Issues and the 'Mother'

The things the wife wants most from her husband, is his TIME, CARE and SUPPORT. If a husband is unable to offer quality time during which regular conversation takes place and he appreciates and compliments her, then the wife will demand material thing like movie tickets, restaurant dinner, jewellery, money etc. In reality, she just wants her husband's attention and not his money. Example: She does not really want to see a movie, she wants her husband to spend time with her by taking her out for a movie and have a conversation with her, like when they were dating.

The wife needs her husbands support. She left everything for her husband when she chose to marry him, so he must remember that he is the only person she has and trusts. A husband can show his support by coming to her aid when his family says 'bitter' things about her. Don't ever tell her to ignore it, saying that your family has always been like this and to bear the 'bitter' comments in silence. Mr.X may have known his family since childhood and may have developed a certain immunity to their behaviour, but Miss Y cannot be expected to do the same in a short span of time.

If the husband is unable to support her in times of such 'trouble', the wife will begin to believe that he has stopped caring and does not love her anymore. As a result, she may either become very possessive or she may leave the husband.


Getting Rid of the 'Bitter' Comments

The simplest way of getting rid of negative comments and bitter feelings, is to never spread the comments around. Never tell her or her friends about anything negative your family has said about her when she was not around. Also do not tell your family members of anything negative she says about them. This will only add fuel to the fire and cause more marital discord.

When it comes to positive comments, please spread them around freely. If no one has said anything positive, make up some imaginary positive comments/compliments. The husband should tell his family that his wife keeps saying positive things about them. This will create a sense of goodwill and they will begin to act positive towards her. He should do the same with his wife also.

The usual squabbles of wife with mother-in-law and sister-in law may still be there - but at a much lower level. This is because women usually interact and squabble only with other women. They keep away from male relatives. All things get better with time. All the couple needs to remember is to give each other the same love, care and support that they gave before the marriage.