Stages Of A Relationship

I recently read a book, 'The 1000 most important questions you will ever ask yourself', by Alyss Thomas. I thought the part about 'Stages of a Relationship' was quite true, so I posted a bit of it on my blog!! Happy Valentines Day !!!


Stage 1 - Falling in Love

This relationship stage involves lots of phone calls, gifts, sms, email forwards and dating. The couple cannot get enough of each other and hold hands everywhere they go. Neither makes any demands on the other person or displays behaviour that may not be accepted. Similarities are emphasized. The main purpose of this stage is to make a firm bond or attachment and build a foundation for the relationship.


Stage 2 - Learning About Differences

This stage of the relationship happens when a person realises that thier lover is quite different from them. They may also start disliking some of these differences. It can be dissappointing and depressing. If the relationship is to succeed, the couple needs to start discussing things and decide who needs to do what. Many relationships don't survive this stage, as the differences between the couple may seem too big. The main purpose of this relationship stage is for each individual to find themselves again and reestablish themselves as an independent person.


Stage 3 - Independence

During this stage of the relationship, a person starts rediscovering themselves as separate people. They engage in separate activities and develop exciting new interests and opportunities. This may be confusing because each partner is fighting for freedom but at the same time wants the other to be there when things go bad and they need them. A person needs space and may be unconciously giving off the message - I don't need you. The main purpose of this stage of a relationship is for each person to achieve more things than they could have achieved alone. The couple learns the values of trust, forgiveness and tolerance.


Stage 4 - Coming Back Together

After each person establishes thier personal identity in the world, the couple comes back together again with more appreciation and understanding for each others individual differences and needs. The couple fluctuates between periods of great intimacy and separation for independence. The partners may test out whether the other person will really be there for them in times of trouble. The main purpose of this stage of a relationship is to find out whether the other person can be trusted for a lifetime. Lots of conflicting issues relating to a person's childhood and past may develop. If these issues are successfully discussed, over time, the relationship will become more deep and stronger.


Stage 5 - Maturity and Compromise

The couple is now in a stronger relationship, knowing that they love each other and have individual lives and interests too. They are equally committed to both. The partners become realistic and let's go of thier hope for an ideal perfect person who fulfills all thier needs. A lot of patience is needed during this stage. Each person encourages thier partner to grow and openness increases. They recognize the value of the relationship and stop feeling resentment about the compromises involved. The couple is now in a solidly strong relationship and is ready to meet the future together.

Have you gone through these stages in your relationship? If you are in a relationship, which stage are you in now??

Consumer Durable Commercials and Breakdown of Families

Sample this,

1984 – A commercial for a television set shows a family comprising grandparents, aunts, uncles, parents and kids sitting in the family drawing room watching TV together.

1989 – The family watching television in the drawing room becomes smaller, featuring only the grandparents, parents and around 3 kids.

1994 – A commercial for the same product shows a nuclear family comprising parents and children watching television together. The children are of varied ages , 18 - 6 years old.

1999 – The family grows smaller. The advertisement for the same television shows a young couple with their two small kids watching television together in the drawing room.

2004 – The television commercial shows a newly married couple with no children watching television together.

2009 – Well, this is the ultimate in family breakdown. You must have seen the advertisements on TV. Today, we see a single guy, staying away from his parents, watching television alone in a small flat.


The effectiveness of good advertising lies in its capability to maintain or encourage new sales. Consumer durables usually have a life span of between 5 – 10 years depending on how much it is used and the maintenance and repair facilities available. Some consumer durable goods are household appliances, electronic equipment, home furnishings, recreational goods, toys and cars.

Because of the long life span of consumer durables, the companies that manufacture consumer durables can only hope for new sales, if,

• They develop a new improved technology and advertise it.
• The standard of living of the people increases enabling them to purchase goods like computers, refrigerators, washing machines, televisions and so on.
• The availability of loans increases making purchase of consumer durables easier.

As part of a long term brand building process, many consumer durable companies try to increase the demand for their products by bringing out commercials that show a new type of smaller family/society to encourage purchases.

Say, for example, there is a country with 1,00,000 people and no competition in the television sector. In 1984, if a family of 14 owned a TV set each, the company had the capacity to sell only around 7,143 televisions. However, in 2009, if each person lives separately, the company has the potential to sell a maximum of 1,00,000 televisions.

This process, though very gradual, works in the minds of individuals who watch television commercials and programmes every day. Things are worse in foreign countries, where single mothers, divorced couples, late marriages and living away from home are promoted both in advertisements and television programmes sponsored by these commercials.

As people are fed this information daily on every television channel, over a period of time they begin to believe that the concept of the family and society is changing. Not wanting to be left behind in the scheme of things, they indulge in the very behavior being promoted by the advertisements of consumer durable companies. People leave their parents to start nuclear families of their own. Divorces and single motherhood lead to fragmented families. Finally, people start living alone. The breakup of the family is complete.

Is single living and the breakdown of the family being promoted by manufacturers of television sets, vacuum cleaners, washing machines and other consumer durables in your country? What do you have to say about this issue?

Conspiracy Theories - The Emperor's New Clothes

When I was a kid, my Dad gifted me the Hans Christian Anderson story book, 'The Emperor's New Clothes'. I used to think the story was really funny, but as I grew up, I realized that 'The Emperor's New Clothes' had a profound moral. You can read the full story here.

The story was about an Emperor who cares only about his looks. One day, two scoundrels pretending to be weavers promise to make him a suit from a beautiful fabric that happens to be invisible to anyone who is stupid or incompetent. The Emperor is so impressed by the weavers 'sales talk' that he hires them to make the suit. Though the Emperor cannot see the cloth himself, he pretends that he can because he does not want to appear stupid. All his ministers and court staff do the same.


When the swindlers report that the suit is finished, he pays them in gold and they pretend to dress him using mime. The Emperor then marches in procession before his subjects. A child in the crowd sees the Emperor in his underwear and shouts that the Emperor is wearing nothing at all. The child's father tells him to shut up but many others in the crowd also notice. The Emperor realizes the truth but thinks it better to continue with the procession. He thinks it is better that the public appear stupid for not being able to see the special cloth than for him to appear stupid for appearing in his underwear.

The moral of this story is:
If something does not look right, sound right or feel right to you, no matter how many authority figures claim that is is true, research the issue and think for yourself.

When applied to real life -

• The Emperor = Government.
• Swindler 1 = Scientists and Researchers.
• Swindler 2 = Big Corporate Entities like pharmaceutical companies, seed manufacturers, military equipment makers, construction majors, oil companies and so on.
  
• Ministers = Media.
• Court Staff = Non Governmental Organizations (NGOs) and Pressure Groups.
• The Child = Me and other people who see the truth.
• The Father = My family, colleagues and close friends who disbelieve.
• The Public = Everyone else.
  

Well, here is a list of some world issues/events that did not seem right to me. Some people would consider my writings as 'conspiracy theories'. For me, these posts are just a way of thinking differently and seeing facts in a different light. I would just like you to read through them and give me your feedback -

• Poisonous BT Brinjal - Genetically modified seed manufacturers are bent on getting Government approval for this badly tested product to increase their monopoly in the agricultural sector and further subjugate the Indian farmer.
  
• Swine Flu or H1N1 Influenza Hoax - Another disease conspiracy perpetuated by pharmaceutical companies and the United Nations to generate business and bring the world out of recession.
  
• Fake Beggars in India - Professional beggar gangs are out to cheat foreign tourists and philanthropists. Most voluntary organizations and NGO's are just an eyewash.
  
• HIV AIDS Scam - Pharmaceutical companies have done a huge 'public relations' job to promote this fake disease with a hope to make big bucks on the sale of contraceptives, medical tests, ARV drugs and medicines to treat HIV related illnesses like Tuberculosis.
  
• Job Advertisements - Private companies routinely advertise job vacancies in newspapers or websites to collect resumes and conduct interviews. However, they actually fill in these positions with recommended people only.
  
• Narmada Dam - The Gujarat government is spending a lot of money on a redundant technology that has few advantages and only seeks to benefit the rich. Why?
  
• Bird Flu or Avian Influenza Hoax - A fake disease perpetuated by pharmaceutical companies to make big profits.